Children cannot understand the difference. Children will also take onboard their parentsвЂ™ critical self image of themselves.

Starting very young, we internalise everything we see and hear words, beliefs and attitudes all creating our вЂself imageвЂ™. For years itвЂ™s taken on board harmful words and views expressed by parents, teachers, siblings and other influences in life. It opposes our best interest and is our own worst enemy. It throws up negative beliefs, thoughts and attitudes. The critical inner voice is the gremlin turning us against ourself. What stops us from defending ourself? ItвЂ™s like having a destructive coach inside our head. We know they are crazy thoughts and we certainly wouldnвЂ™t stand for it being said to a friend. Your nose is too big, bottom too large, youвЂ™re uglyвЂќ. It says things like, вЂњYouвЂ™re not like other people, you canвЂ™t do this project, you arenвЂ™t clever enough. Self-sabotage is our critical inner voice feeding us negative thoughts. We are not doing it consciously вЂ“ itвЂ™s as if we are suddenly standing at the washing machine because itвЂ™s the most important job right now. Self-sabotage is our unconscious mind, which is why we donвЂ™t understand choosing the washing over the project. It can feel like a weird force deep inside pulling in the opposite direction. What stops us? Other perceived important jobs stop us washing, housework, shopping or spring cleaning вЂ“ and itвЂ™s not even spring! We get distracted and pulled off task.

It bothers and confuses us and we get frustrated with our block. Frozen in flight we wonder why, once again, this is happening? Disappointing memories and feelings come flooding back as we recognise our pattern. Then, from nowhere, we stop in our tracks. The thrill creates productive momentum and off we go. But why do we self-sabotage?Д®nthusiastically we jump at an idea or project. Cornyn-Selby says self-sabotage is when вЂњwe say we want something and then go about making sure it doesnвЂ™t happenвЂќ.

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